Subway Nights

Late night alone on the New York City subway.
Suddenly, I don't feel so comfortable in my short-shorts and trendy black boots that I found in my Mother's closet.
Ironically, I'm not worried. I just don't feel this is the best decision I've made.
Anyways, no one seems to care.
I look at each of them individually. Transporting myself into their world for a few seconds.
A woman, half-asleep/half-awake, holds a baby basin on her lap.
Her hair is pulled back tight and the baby is quiet.
It is after midnight on a Wednesday night.
I wonder where she is coming from. Traveling so late with her sleeping baby.
She doesn't look happy.
She doesn't look restful, despite her sleepy eyes.
It doesn't feel good to see her like this.

Two men are standing. Each of them are holding canes.
They are a bit older.
Neither of them are looking at anyone or anywhere.
They are just staring.
Occasionally fidgeting with something or tapping their fingers upon the cane.
They don't make eye contact with anyone.
They don't look happy, necessarily.
And the quietness of their face tells me 'surrendered'.
And I'm not sure if that's good or bad.
But they both seem like the type of people who could use a good sit and a good conversation.
They are alone, just themselves and their canes.
It's 12:05am on a Wednesday night.

A man in the far corner is staring at me.
An almost entirely uninterrupted gaze from an acceptable distance from my zone of comfort.
I wonder if he is doing the same as I am.
Taking a trip inside my mind, my world.
Wondering where I am coming from and where I am going.
I'm not thrilled about the staring
But it doesn't really bother me either.
We're just two people, who found ourselves in the same place,
alone at night on the New York City subway.

And when the bells rings and the doors open
Louder than usual
Interrupting the outer silence
and the inner noise of my thought journeys
I step up and with a slight smile
Say goodbye to my new acquaintances
No eye contact
Not sure anyone of them really saw me.

And the walk feels lonely back to my sister's apartment.
It's dark and bright simultaneously
The lights everywhere make me wonder
Who is awake and who is asleep in this world?
Cars speed by fast
and then I don't see another one until I get to the next big avenue.
One man is taking his garbage out.
The buckles of my shoes make a jingle with each step
And I hear each one, loud.

And just before I cross the last street to my sister's place
A garbage truck turns
And flashes it's lights at me
And I smile
Because for some reason that acknowledgement
Helps me feel less alone tonight.