Work Hard, Be Happy
El trabajo es como este valle, refleja la energia que pongas en el. No hay trabjao miserable. Si no estas satisfecho, corre el riesgo de cambiarlo todo y dedicarte a lo que amas. Mejor ser alegre con un pequeno salario que infeliz por tener miedo a cambiar.
O sea…
Work is a reflection of the energy you put in. There should not be any such thing as miserable work. If you are not satisfied, run the risk of changing everything and dedicating yourself to what you love. It is better to be happy with a small salary than unhappy because you were afraid to change.
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Today, I am competing for the crown. I am representing the community’s development group as candidata in an effort to raise money for the local Catholic Church. It is kinda like a beauty contest, except the winner is based on who raises the most funds, and not beauty nor dress nor walk nor talent. I’m not sure which I would prefer…being exploited for my money or being the only “white” contestant in a country where anyone and anything white is the most beautiful thing they have ever laid eyes upon. And while a tiara would fit nicely upon my trophy stand (next to our third place plastic futbol tournament award) I am not sure I actually want to win.
Much of my work here involves training and motivating, encouraging and promoting equality. It took a year and a half to show my community that even though I am a gringa, I do not have an unlimited supply of dinero. That, even though I have “white” skin, I am not invincible. That despite the fact I come from el norte, I do not have internet here on my laptop, nor a car, nor does all of my food arrive pre-packaged and prepared from the states. That I, too, ride the bus. I work hard. I play futbol. I studied. I have sisters and my parents, in fact, had to raise me… I wasn’t born into a life of luxury and ease.
So, a bit of me fears winning. Many people have made comments, expecting me to turn over $1,000 of “raised funds” to the church. Other competing candidatas have told me “ay Jaime, vas a ganar”, almost ready to concede their victory to me even before the competition has started. I fear another stupid reason for people to think “white means money” and/or “white is better”.
But despite all of this, I am making the most of the experience. I have less than 6 months left, and I feel honored to be part of this event. I did my best to raise what money I could for the church and whether people expected more or less I am not sure, but at least it is going toward a good cause. I see the day as an opportunity to build more relationships with my community or to strengthen the ones I already have already formed, instead of a competition. And more than anything, I am looking forward to learning more about the culture and just plain ol’ having a good time.
...Upon returning from the candidata event….
The invitation said to be at the church at 10am, so I was ready by 9am, however my counterpart told me to be there at 11am and that someone would come to do my hair at 10:15am. By 11am, still no one had arrived at my house to do my hair so I started walking to the church, arriving at 11:15am, fashionably late (and probably the 4th person to check-in). The majority of the folk arrived at 12:30pm and we started the whole marching ordeal promptly at 1:30pm. And so, somethings in El Salvador will never change and I will eternally be early for each and every public event…
By selling votes for 10 cents a piece to co-workers and community members, I raised a total of $66.05, ranking in at Second Place. I was quite pleased with my title however quickly my pride was stolen as a car passing by called to me “gringuita fea”.
The next hour or so was spent at the mass and as 5pm rolled around I looked forward to walking home…in the rain. However, my counterpart wasn’t ready to throw in the towel as soon as I and she forced me to talk another mile or so to the house of a wheelchair project recipient. The recipient had passed away and we wanted to ask for the return of the wheelchair to give to another person in need. However, upon arrival the lady informed us the wheelchair was already given away and so my next week’s duty would be to visit all of the other recipients to see if they are actually using the wheelchairs... And if not, steal it back. Not sure I am so into doing that.
However melancholy this blog may seem, don’t get discouraged.
On Tuesday, the scholarship winners leave the community. On Wednesday they fly to Wisconsin where they will spend the next 2 years at the University.
We had a going away party for them last week. We went on a big hike to the community waterfalls and I will never forget the moment of them screaming and laughing, heads submerged under the pounding water. I couldn’t stop laughing myself…one of those all encompassing laughters that makes your limbs shake and your cheeks hurt afterwards.
Later we had lunch at their houses where Brock and I told them how proud we were of them. What I didn’t really expect were their words or those of their parents.
They said to us, “You know, we were talking one day at the end of the school year about what we were going to do. There’s no jobs and no money so going to college just is not an option. You gave us this opportunity that we never would have known about if it weren’t for you. You supported us when maybe even our parents didn’t. We want to thank you guys.”
Their parents said, “We are worried about them leaving. We don’t understand how they are going to adjust. Who is going to help them? How will they eat and communicate? We are happy to know you guys because we know you are there for them. You help us understand.”
Later that week, I had a community meeting with my boss and all the people I have worked on projects with. Dora reflected on the first day they decided to put a volunteer in the community. She said, “It is hard being a leader. I feel responsible for the community and I really care about the future development of it but a lot of people criticize me. I felt alone. With Jaime here, I don’t feel as alone.”
The waterfalls moment, the words of the scholarship kids and their parents, Dora and the community leaders, give me the chills. Those are the moments that don’t make me feel like a “gringuita fea”.
Now, Brock, my closest volunteer and friend has retired after his 2 years of service, the scholarships kids are off to my homeland and I am in the home stretch. 6 months to go… so why does it feel like it should be easier than it is?
With the closest volunteer maybe an hour away, I feel more isolated than ever. With too much time left to surrender and not enough time to develop an impactful new project, I feel unmotivated. With a longing to be home, but anxiety to say goodbye, I feel lost.
The worst part of it all (although I am comforted by the fact that I am not the only volunteer who feels this way) is that sometimes it seems, WE (as volunteers) care more about our communities than they do. We are carrying the weight of 400 households on our shoulders. Dora does not know I bear the pain of her failing heart. Maria doesn’t know how I think of her four mal-nutritioned ninos as I sip on my soup and gnaw on my banana.
But how do I keep pushing to help them, when they don’t really care at all themselves?
Well, that’s our job. And when the waterfall hits you in the face one day, you realize… 6 months, a year, two years, all the struggling; it’s worth it. You gotta keep on fighting. Every day is an opportunity.
My friend (and fellow volunteer) Chelsea, made me realize something. In the states, when you ask people who they are, they respond: a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher. Here, they respond: a mother, a wife, a sister.
It is my job to lift my community. Or at least to try. My whole life I have been taught to study, to work, to grow, to fight, to achieve. Most of the people in my community have been fighting to eat, to live, to love and care for their families. I am a teacher. She is a mother. That’s what I have to remember when it comes to motivating people to work.
And I can reflect on what I have accomplished in the past year and a half. Analyze what went well, what went wrong and what I can do better in the next 6 months:
-Strengthening the Community Development Groups and their functions, soliciting new projects, such as:
• Winning 10 Wheelchairs
• Hammock making Course
• Expanding the Community House
• Community Christmas Event & Town Fair
• Diagnostic for Potential Future Water Project
-Artisan Youth Group
• Winning $2,000 for materials
• Making Jewelry
• Learning to work in a group
• Business Skills
• Selling at the Hotel Lenka & International Fairs
• Excursions to the Beach, Museums & Ruins
-Girls Soccer Team
• Winning uniforms, balls & cleats
• Teaching soccer skills, teamwork, & pride
• Hosting first tournament (winning 3rd place, $100 in prizes from local mayors, $100 in tropheys from INDES)
• Hosting the Peace Corps soccer teams
• Town fundraisers to raise $67
-Helping the Community Literacy Group
• Teaching English
• Improving Literacy in Adults
-Teaching Art at S. Lucas
• 2nd-9th Grade Art classes
-Computers
• Winning 15 computers ($1,500) from mayor for the school
-Planning a Business Camp
-Teaching English at L. Montana
• 4th-7th Grade English Classes
• Letter Exchange Program with Mrs. Brown’s Class
• Winning 2 Environmental Education textbooks
• Competing in Environment Ed Competition by creating a School Garden
-Sports Program at the school
• Winning $500 for sports equipment for the school (first year Phys Ed class)
-Self-Defense for Women Workshop
-Scholarships
• 2 winners from my community to study 2 years in the states
