A Day in My Shoes

I saw the Facebook statuses and my shoulders slumped and my head tilted back and my stomach knotted and I thought "Oh no, not again." I didn't want to look. I didn't want to see the news, the replay of the explosion over and over. The people running without thought. Fear instilled at an event of inspiration.

"Not again, please."

That's all I can say. Because I don't know how to feel. I'm frustrated. I cannot sit here and study nutrition when the world is in turmoil.

So, I push everything aside and I take a deep breath. Okay. What do I have control over at this moment? 

I take another deep breath. I look at the cars that continue to pass...maybe they haven't heard the news yet. I look at the wind blowing the leaves on my trees in a gentle sway. They know little destruction, besides when the man comes with his saw.

I take another deep breath that passes through my chest and deep into my stomach and I look up at the sky. It is blue. It is calm. It tells me "you are here and I am here for you."

I feel the imbalance within me. My soul wants to be there with those in need. It has much love to share.

So I clear the table of my studies and I start to write. The words become little sketches.

And then I remember my shoes. I grab my fresh white Toms and a set of sharpies and I start to draw the things that make me feel right about the world. I draw the things that make me smile. I create images and designs that are little reminders of who I am and what I have. I put my inspiration on my shoes because I walk in them everyday, and I want them to carry me.

I draw "kiss the ground" because it reminds me to be humble and grateful. I write "ahimsa" because it is a beautiful expression of nonviolence. I draw my 2 patria, New York and El Salvador because they are my two worlds, my one home, my reason for being.

I put everything on my shoes so that when I look down on the subway or huddled masses, I see through the distraction to what carries me.

And I want love and compassion and gratitude to carry me.

So, on a day when everything in the world had stopped, I used my emotional energy to set an intention for how I want to walk forward.

It pains me deeply to think of the innocent lives lost: children, people with passion, people with drive, people who are innocent. It pains me to think of the confusion of the communities in Boston, in the US, in the world. People will be angry. People will be sad, bitter, resentful. People are confused, frustrated, maybe even hateful.

These things are happening more and more often.

Wow, we have accomplished SO much as a nation- as a world. What pride.

Tell me, what good is all the success, the opportunity, the GDP, the growth, if we do not know how to live? If we cannot come together as brothers as sisters, nation by nation, and run in the name of freedom?

Opportunity is amazing and constant hope for more keeps us growing. But sometimes opportunity creates distraction. We don't ever know if this race is our last. So we must remind ourselves of the beauty that is now (while we search for future growth). Because one without the other is nothing. We need bells of mindfulness, like my shoes, like a book each morning or a hug each night, that reminds us we are here right now and it is all we know and all we have and it is beautiful.

"The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds." -HH Dalai Lama.

I blame no one for what has happened in Boston.

We are all in this together. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I believe in my heart that we are one world. 

This event pains me because I do not want to think that it will cause people to have less faith. 

World peace is possible. It is.

It is time for us to be true about our intentions to live. Stop walking aimlessly. Don't be blind to the blue sky and don't curse the weeds.

We don't know each others' story. Every living being serves a purpose on this world. 

We do know that we all want to be loved. It is the innate nature of living things.

Overtime we can become so distracted, conditioned and numb. We may have lost sight of who we are. We may have lost touch with the beauty that is our heart that beats effortlessly for us at every given moment. We may have rushed out the door so fast in the morning that we forgot to appreciate our warm meal or smiley baby. We may have gotten so used to our daily habits that we forgot the man who makes our breakfast sandwich is a father who likes to see his baby smile, too, and not just a guy who makes a breakfast sandwich.

The planet desperately needs more peacemakers. 

It's not so hard really. 

It's simple to ask the crossing guard how her day is going.

It's simple to hold the door for a stranger.

It's simple to say "God bless you feet, because you have carried me safely to my office".

But you may be very distracted. Because we have wonderfully constructed a society of buildings and trains, nail salons and Wall Streets, playgrounds and plastered faces. 

And it's all quite all right really. We wanted it and we made it happen. We want more and we will most likely get that too. Because we have creativity and motivation and opportunity. Man, we have opportunity to do anything. We have so much freedom and rights.

But do you know what you stand for? And do you remember every morning?

Or do you need to make a pair of shoes?

Because I refuse to walk blindly. And I refuse to live in fear of the next bombing. 

The planet desperately needs more peacemakers.

So while you continue the daily fight for success, please remember what you are fighting for.

Take a moment to breathe, because the world needs you.

I don't blame anyone for what has happened. Because we are all in this together.

I see that this has happened from confusion; from misunderstanding and distractions from love and life. Whoever did this has confused me for a girl who runs in pink shoes, and not a sister.

Whoever did this has forgotten that the peoples that were targeted were not US citizens, they were hearts that beat for their mothers and fathers and for the smiles of those on the sidelines. They were young souls who would have grown up to love Boston, New York, El Salvador, India, or Israel. They would have run for charities to raise funds for people in need, people who may have been related to their perpetrators. 

Whoever did this misunderstands the world. They are afraid of the power we all have to make a change. They live from fear and look what it has done. 

From fear, you cannot create any good.

From love and empowerment, we can create amazing things.

The planet needs more peacemakers. So put on a good pair of shoes and let's walk together.