I Don't Believe in Chores

There used to be a time when I ran and it felt like a chore.

I don't believe in chores anymore.
I believe in duties.

I used to whine and complain to myself as I pulled on my shorts and searched for my sports bra. I listened to my uneven breathing with angst as I watched my feet slam into the pavement.
I should run.
I must run.
They said I have to.
These were the voices that spoke in my mind.
But I really didn't know. Who? Who was making me run.
And Why?  Why was I running?

Chores.
Doing things because "we're supposed to".

Says who?

You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Not a thing.
Who says so, anyways?
Why should you do it?

If you don't want to do it. Don't!

Even if your mother or father or teacher asks you. You don't have to do anything!

The thing is, when things started to feel like a chore, like you should do it... for someone else or for some reason that doesn't really excite you or empower you, you automatically reject it. You start to feel resentment...and you actually haven't even considered the activity, so much as just reacted to the phrase "you must do exercise."

So, I don't believe in chores.

I do, however, believe in duties.

I clean the house because I know I am so damn fortunate to have a roof over my head. And so I put music on and I clean it with joy.

When I go to New York, I do the dishes because I know that not all mothers still make a home for their daughters and mine does and so the dishes are the least I can do.

I make my bed in the morning and as I fold the sheets I give thanks to the warmth that I feel beneath them every night.

So, you don't have to do anything. But wouldn't it be nice if you did more? Wouldn't it be nice if you considered all that your parents did to give you everything you have? Your own room. Perhaps a college education.

Wouldn't it be nice if you loved your body a little bit more? All that is does for you. Heart beating. Stomach digesting. Kidneys detoxing. All that crap we've created in the environment and food and water- our body doing its best to fight it all for us. Wouldn't it be nice if we did a bit more for it?

You don't have to do anything, but what if you did more?

Wouldn't it be nice if you looked at your teacher in the eyes while she was speaking to show that you respected her time?

It doesn't feel like a chore anymore when I run.

It feels like a gift.
It feels like I'm dancing on the pavement.

I sing in my head. Or maybe out loud. I go into such a trance that I don't even know where I am or where I am going. And. It's awesome.

Tonight, the full moon followed me on my run. It hid behind clouds and then emerged again. It formed halos and rainbows, shadows and symmetries. It was bright and bold and brilliant. Like someone once taught me to be.

And yet every day I falter.
I don't know where I'm going or what I am doing.
I'm just doing what I can and being the way life has made me.

Everyday I learn something new that shapes my perspective. Everyday I forget. I ask questions. I learn again.
Everyday I remember.
Everyday I try to do my best...and somedays...I really suck at it.
But I'm really lucky because I have amazing people in my life. Hands that help me that I must not forget about, like my friend recently wrote me in a Birthday poem.

I have a beautiful brother from Rwanda who taught me about forgiveness.
And so I am learning how to forgive myself.

I have a goddess friend from the USA who taught me how to love my body and my femininity,
And so I am learning how to embrace what I have been given.

And I have a family in Thailand who taught me about duties
And so I am learning how to celebrate my ability to run, clean and care for beings and things.

Today the Moon followed me.
As I ran in a sweet meditation.
Illuminating my shadow.
Reminding me to be humble, for I am made of Earth.
Smiling at me and my nobility, knowing I am also made of his stars.
It reminded me of all that I have to be grateful for. My body and its ability to move. My self and my commitments. And most importantly, the people who have made me who I am and brought me where I am today.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

And if you don't do it, know what you stand for.
And if you do do it, darling do it like hell.

Revel in it.
Dance in it. Sing to it.
Flow. Jam. Taste.
Feel it.
Really do it.

And then you'll see there's no such thing as chores.
It's just called living.
And its all your choice how you wanna do it.