Gunshot Rings

Would you die for a gorilla?

There's conflict in the Congo. And one man is willing to lose his life as he stands by the side of the gorillas whom he calls his family at Virunga National Park.

You can see it in his eyes that he is not lying.
I know that feeling.

There are certain people that I can look at and I know that I would give my life for them. It doesn't scare me. I can look at them an imagine leaving this world for them and it does not cause me to lose peace. My parents. My sisters. My Grandma. Children.

I have had experiences in my life where death has crossed my mind.
On bus rides in El Salvador.
On mountain hikes in Thailand.
In taxis in Vietnam.
On dark nights in New York.

I have felt before, a sense of calm, in the anticipation of possible loss.
Of my physical being.

I have looked into the barrel of a gun.
And I have run.
The echoing gunshot still rings in my mind.
Only, in my mind.

It's like a reminder
now.

The sense of calm comes from knowing
That I am living how I would like to live.
I hear the ringing and I say to myself,
"Wake up! You have forgotten to message your mother today."

I don't want to die.
No. I very much love this living.

I don't know if I could die for a gorilla. Like this beautiful man in the Congo.
He can. Because he knows that is what he was placed on this Earth to do.
Be one with the gorillas.

Do you know?
Do you know what you were placed on this Earth to do?
Do you ask yourself?

You can do it now, if you haven't done it before.
Just don't do it if it feels like a chore. If it makes you nervous. If you are searching and searching and searching for an answer.
There is no answer.

There's just a feeling.
A knowing feeling.
A hug from your spouse. A touch from the tiny hand of your baby. The wind on your face by the ocean. A cuddle with a good book. The wrapping of your fingers around a pencil.

Get to know the things that make your heart sing.
Or eyes light up.
Or breath become noticed.

This is where you find why you have been placed on this Earth.

You have forgotten.
As I sometimes do.
And you have run away.
As I sometimes do.

Would you like to come back? To this place where you belong?

Deadlines. School papers. Clean the kitchen. Teach a class. Call the doctor. Write the email.

The gunshot rings.
"Your neighbour invited you to lunch. Go and sit with him. He needs you."

I drop everything and I go.
Because something in my heart says it is where I am needed most.

And at lunch, when I see his smile, and listen to him talk
I know that if I go
in this moment
I will be okay.
Because I am already where I belong.

I haven't found a way to make this living sustainable yet
Sustainable in the world that we have created today
Where I have to pay for things with currency
And not things that I create with my own 2 hands
Like food or art
or real things full of meaning
that I would rather put the time into making
that I believe can serve people.

If I could
I would pay people with my smile and my ears
I would clean their kitchens
And organize their cabinets
I would draw them pictures
And make them cards
I would play with their children
And cook them dinner

The world we have created today makes this hard
Institutions ask for papers and taxes and currency
That I don't have
That you need

I spend too much time having lunch with my neighbours
Giving unpaid classes at the school
With my hands in the soil
Writing stories on my heart

I need these things because they give me life
I need to make sure I am living

Gunshot rings.

What were you placed on this Earth to do?

I am doing it.
A little more each day.
Sometimes, not enough.
Maybe, not always the right things.

I need to know that I am alive
This is why I do the things I do

So that when the gunshot rings
I know that Mother Earth will take me
Peacefully back to where I belong.
Where I already am.