The trees are tame and my dog is coiled calmly in her corner.
I woke up from the quietness.
Just over a year ago today, I was trapped inside my Salvadoran home all alone, as the dirt roads of my community became flooded on day 8 of consecutive down-pouring. The tin roof of my house had peeled back and I did my best attempt to keep my material possessions dry. I remember the sadness I felt at having lost the photos I had taped to my wall in an attempt to mask the grey-ness of my home.
In New York, we prepared a long time for Sandy. The tv, the news, the radio, facebook, twitter... all warning us of what was to come...helping us to prepare for the worst.
In El Salvador, the rain began...we closed our doors and prayed.
On Sunday, after I found the candles and flashlights, checked the cupboards for dry food and helped secured any loose items outside, I put on my sneakers.
I went for a three mile run around my community observing the houses, the colorful fall trees, the waves of clouds in the sky. On numerous occasions during the run, I got the chills.
Stopping at my former elementary school, I smiled silently at our infrastructure: the children will be safe.
I entered the gates of our huge, brick grade school. Do we have any idea how fortunate we are?
I sat on the turf of the school lawn. I flipped upside down and did a headstand. Will this be what it looks like tomorrow? Everything turned inside out and upside down?
Monday came with trepidation.
The trees teetered and tottered. The howling got louder as midnight approached. The lights flickered.
My mind raced. I was nervous...
I watched the news. I prayed for those evacuated, for New York City & New Jersey and all those hit by Sandy's force.
But I couldn't help but think the "why"?
Nature, planet earth, so dutifully protecting us on a daily basis. No one has to remind it to flood our sea with fishes and oxygenize the plants. It precipitates when needed and warms us after the winter.
Why Sandy?
I have come up with many beliefs to answer this question, but I have settled for the obvious- there is no answer. There is no knowing.
As for many things in life, we must accept certain things that we just do not know. We may think we know, but in fact, we do not.
And that is okay.
What we can do instead is be.
Be grateful for our blessings, which each and everyone of us has in our own form.
Be proud of our country, and the preparations we made to be safe.
Be reminded to love those around us, because sometimes we forget.
Be the help that our neighbor needs in a time when we can give.
Be you, and be your best you, because it is all we can be.
I look outside today at the aftermath. It is a lot to process. I have so many thoughts.
I look at the photos I have on my computer of El Salvador, October 2011. I remember my Peace Corps friends who were evacuated from their communities. I remember the donations of clothes and food to those living on the coastline. I remember my lonesome house. I remember the mud and mold and mess.
It is so similar here in New York today.
When you strip away all else, you are left with what is real. The mechanisms we have built in society to grow and do more and do better, they sometimes blind us from the beauty of our core. They sometimes separate us from our families, our friends, our enemies and strangers.
When you lose that, you see what is raw-human-nature. Our souls, which are all the same in the end: wanting to love and to be loved.
Sometimes tainted overtime by our social influences, but often recovered when life decides to show us.
Sometimes it takes a storm to peel down the advertisements and wash away our possessions to remind us what is important.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who have been affected by this storm.
May we take the time to reflect on its significance and may we have the strength to be who we need to be today to help in the recovery.
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