What She Said and What She Didn't Say

Before we tear her apart, let's take a closer look at ourselves.

It is easy to forget that each and everyone of us walks through life wearing a thick pair of glasses and a heavy set of blinders.

We each have our own story. We each have had life experiences that have brought us to the place we are standing today.

Broken families, lost loved ones, discrimination.

Ignorance, anger, loneliness.

Passion, love, determination.

There is no doubt that we often wish we could erase some of those dreadful memories from our minds. But if we did, we would not be where we stand today.

There is also a reason we stand here today- because we care. We have felt these feelings of grief and we want to be the ones who do something about it.

Her Excellency Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, first elected female head of state of Africa, Nobel Peace Prize Winner and current President of Liberia visited campus (University for Peace, El Rodeo, Costa Rica) today.

Like at any political appearance, the room was full of curious eyes and vigilant ears.  At a University mandated by the United Nations, with passionate students from 47 different countries around the world, the playing field intensifies.

When you listen to someone speak, anyone speak, you often forget to take off your glasses. Subconsciously, memories are conjured up from your past- experiences that have marked your life, as the limits of the human mind desperately try to grasp what the speaker is saying and make sense of it all. You don't even know it is happening. But, suddenly, you have an opinion based on what you think you heard and how it relates to your life.

Fortunately, you are not alone. We all suffer from these unfortunate human tendencies. We have been so diligently trained to think with our minds and not with our hearts.

There was much that can be analyzed that went wrong today...as with everyday...

Personally, I had a really moving experience. And, while sometimes I would like to have felt otherwise, it would be silly for me not to be completely honest with my own personal experience.

At first, I enjoyed the President's speech. I felt that she spoke from a place in her heart. I felt her words were a reflection of her life experiences and personal truths.

Her Excellency spoke of the importance to demonstrate confidence in oneself. And with that comes strength and courage. Courage to sustain the course that one believes in...so that every obstacle becomes a stepping stone to move onto the next level of success. She asked us to be strong in our convictions.

She told us she was a Grandma.

She also poked fun at the US, saying that Africa and other nations have lead the way for female leaders, "now we're just waiting on the US". She joked that women need to be equal "and greater" than men. And she opinionated that "the greater comes in that we surpass the men in kindness and compassion- maybe, because we are mothers..."I think it is important to not take life so seriously all the time...

Her Excellency asked that we search for inner peace.

As she reflected on moments in her life where she was held captive, she reminded us that the human to human connection is the most important of all.

I felt moved by her words. I could not relate to each and everything she said, but I felt her strong will and her passion and above all, I felt her strength. I felt her inviting us to find our path and walk it: fearlessly.

Some of my classmates had different experiences.

It is very unique to be able to experience such a passionate speech in a room of such intimacy, diverse backgrounds and passionate souls.

I watched classmates who were proud and intrigued to be in such close presence with the President of their own country. I watched females connecting and smiling. I felt students from Costa Rica and from parts of Africa sharing pride over accomplishments.

I also saw sadness and disappointment over awkward silence and direct avoidance. I watched frustration and even the seeds of anger being planted.

My inspiration quickly turned into compassion...and then confusion.

I started writing this note right now, because I felt I needed to be with my feelings. I know they are trying to tell me something.

I realize that the second I take off my glasses, the story in front of me changes. I can easily put on a few different pairs, too. I can put on a pair of LGBT glasses. I can put on a pair of female glasses. I can put on a pair of male glasses. I can put on a pair of African Union glasses. I can put on a pair of Grandma glasses. And the story is suddenly completely different.

I am so grateful to be where I am right here today. And to share in an experience where there can be so much story-sharing and so much growth.

It can also be a little scary. Because suddenly the truth as I know it, as I think it has been, may not actually be the truth at all.

And I wonder how many people out there will actually ever consider removing their glasses at all.

I guess we're all human beings, huh? And we all make mistakes. We all have histories. We all have past conditionings.

Her Excellency is a Grandma.

I spoke with my Grandma yesterday. She makes a lot of mistakes. She says things that embarrass me. She offends people. She is 94. She has lived a life that I know nothing of. She also loves me and teaches me in a way that no one else has the ability to. She is my Grandma. She has her strengths and weaknesses; she, too, is a human being. I learn from the way she loves me and I also learn from the ways things have changed over time.


I could be wrong, but I think sometimes we see people as their positions, and not as another human being. We have those thick glasses on and we forget that the President before us is also a Grandma. I am not defending her or her words. I am just trying to see a bit more of the picture.

There was a point today, where I was upset by what happened. But before I got angry, I started to ask myself some questions.

If anger arises, we can be with it for a moment, because I am sure it is trying to tell us something. But I don't think it is saying "stay angry for long" because I'm sure you will get a belly ache. Picking up a hot coal to throw at someone, you will surely burn yourself first.

I'm not sure judgment is the way to go either, because I have learned from my own past that every time I point a finger at someone, one is pointing back at me.

Figuratively, I think about Her Excellency and I: Let us remove our glasses and take a minute to walk together. We each have our own story, but we all belong to the same humanity. I suppose there are many things we would not agree on. But I am sure I can learn from her story. She may do many things wrong, but she may have done a lot of right along the way also. That does not mean we have to support the wrong. But we can ask ourselves, letting go of the anger "what can I do?"

We can use those feelings, of being angry, or upset, or confused, to compel us to move forward on our path. Use the obstacles as stepping stones towards transformation.

Just don't cling to the anger or judgment for long...

Let us make change from a place of peace.