I Am Buddha

I wasn't planning on blogging today. And then something so weird happened, that I just began to write.

Let me warn you ahead of time, many of you will laugh at this. If not a full-blown "HA", you will definitely be smirking. And if you don't smirk, you will close this page before you finish reading.

However, if you have just the least bit of curiosity, I applaud your faith.

I usually meditate outside. Nature is calming and nature is my inspiration.

Today, however, I did it in my bedroom. There I was, sitting cross-legged upon my blue carpeted floor. I was headphone-d into my laptop, as I listened to a guided meditation. I had my eyelids resting peacefully upon my bottom lashes, head balanced perfected above my spine, sitting tall upon my sitting bones. I was deeply focused on the mantra "I am open to love."

As I repeated this phrase silently in my mind, I time travelled back to a former guided meditation. During this prior experience, I was guided to look across at me at a person whom loved me, supported me and in whom I could trust. I found myself envisioning myself as a younger Jaime. For some reason, I saw a smiling high-school Jaime, about 16 years old. I was wearing a white t-shirt, my hair down and I was just smiling a carefree smile. I wasn't worried about the future. I wasn't immature. I wasn't taking life seriously. I was confident. I was smiling a smile that said "what is the matter? you have nothing to worry about. I am here, and you can trust in me, and it all works out."

I continued with today's meditation. "I am open to love." My mind began to wander, but I came back to this mantra. I listened to my breathing and I focussed my awareness on my heart. I envisioned it swelling with love. My heart became so large in my chest and I was fully aware of it beating.

My eyes had been closed gently for quite awhile now, when they gradually cracked open and I caught a glimpse of my computer screen.

Expecting to see the Guided Meditation Page, I was terrified in awe at what I saw instead.

It was me for a second, and then I quickly morphed into Buddha.

My computer screen had gone black, and in my dimly lit room, I could easily see my reflection, as if it were a mirror. I had my hair tied up in a bun (coincidentally) that was wrapped loosely and sitting on top of my head in an all too familiar hair-do. My eyes were only slightly parted and my mouth wore an almost non-existent, yet very apparent, smile.

I'm not sure if I was dizzy from the meditation or drunk with love, but it was impossible to deny that I resembled his truly, Buddha.

It's so very silly... yet so very simple.


Where is the light? Where is God? Where is Buddha? Where is love? Where is your soul? Where is whatever it is that you believe in?

It is in you.
          It is all around you.
                      It is everywhere.

It is You.

You just have to awaken it.

So very simple...

But I bet most of us forget to do it!

How to look at it a little more practical? Here are some ways I know the light is there in the Universe:

-the smell of the salty sea and the feeling of the crisp breeze on my face as I sit on the beach looking out at the ocean

-laughing at the top of my lungs, as I connect squinting eyes with my best friends, my stomach aching shortly after in welcomed pain

-dancing with Latin music running through my veins, with not a clue as to how to dance salsa, but not a care in the world as to how I look doing it

-running down the sidewalk, music blaring in my ears, feeling the power in my legs as I watch my feet move one in front of the other in perfect rhythm

-the feeling of bliss singing at the top of my lungs alone in my house in El Salvador when its pounding rain on my tin roof

-the peace of mind that comes during and after a beautiful meditation